Does lingerie make a difference in our sex lives? | KAYA FM

Does lingerie make a difference in our sex lives?

23 Jul 2020 LIFESTYLE

By: Natasha Archary 


Lingerie sex life

Men will eat 3-day old pizza with their mates on a boys’ retreat, and if severely hungover, but it seems they are first and foremost visually stimulated for matters between the sheets. 

“Cosplay”, lace and all the frills are not just important to South African men, it is a mandatory pre-requisite by 86% of our hot-blooded males. 


We eat with our eyes first 

Launching an online survey during the lockdown may have swayed most of the voting to lean towards lingerie. Lockdown had everyone craving something we were not allowed to have. And we may have all been denied something pleasurable during the past oh, hundred and somewhat days. Curfews are limiting.

For those on the more adventurous side, it may have heightened sexual experiences with our partners. If we have been fortunate enough to spend intimate time with. Posting the question on a Facebook poll recently, I was hardly surprised when a whopping 86% of the male respondents adamantly rated lingerie a necessity in their sex lives. 

With just 14% of women coming to the fore and admitting to making an effort with something a little risqué in the bedroom. Surprising their lovers with something lacy and sheer, despite not being completely confident with their physical appearances. 

Something the male poll-takers did not focus on. Ladies, rest assured your partners do not care that you are not magazine perfect. It’s more about the effort you’ve made to turn up the temperature between the two of you. We eat with our eyes first, was one of the responses received. 


Turn waning arousal into heated passion  

Relationships all go through a lull. It’s not that you no longer love your person, but you can lose interest in seeing them naked. You adjust to a routine. Things become monotonous and pretty soon, with kids in the picture, you’re settling for scheduling your sexy time to once a week when the kids are in bed. 

What was once molten hot, bubbling lava has now fizzled into dry ash. Your partner has seen you with unwashed hair, no makeup, unshaven, food in your teeth, and mid-gas exchange. Everything that is said to be the opposite of sexy (we’re not judging if some of these things turn you on, whatever floats your boat), basically you’ve both seen each other when you don’t look your best. 

You stop making an effort. When you don’t look your best, chances are you don’t feel your best. You don’t even look like you’re interested in having them all over you. Most of the gents polled, feel their partners are disinterested in experimenting or getting past their body insecurities. 

Many would love to have the woman in their lives set their pulses racing with some seductive lingerie. Taking the initiative to turn the waning arousal into heated passion once more. 

Lingerie sex life


Enough with the insecurities 

Researchers from Concordia University in Montreal conducted a funny experiment with mating rats. Female rats were fitted into tiny white jackets and introduced to virgin male rats. When released into a mix of female rats with and without white jackets, the male rats automatically chose the females in the white jackets again. 


What the study concludes is that the rats were visually stimulated into expecting “pleasure time” from the females in the white jackets. With this scientific reasoning, if women were to match items of lingerie to sexually influential acts, their partners will learn to respond favorably. 


The key takeaway from the poll is that men are not concerned about a woman’s body flaws. Stretch marks, cellulite, “mom-belly”, love-handles, none of these matter to a man who is aroused and ready to please. It’s all in our heads as women, that lingerie is reserved for those size zero lingerie models. 


What turns your man on, is your openness to venture out of your comfort zone and you’re allowing your insecurities to stop you from a thrilling sex-life. Over 73% of the men polled, did not mind splurging on lingerie for their partners, if it meant a confidence boost or to get them in the mood. A good 54% bought lingerie as gifts to their partners, to reaffirm that they want to do everything possible to keep their sex lives strong. 


Afropolitan men have spoken, and we would love to know how women will respond. 


Share your thoughts with us by tagging @KayaFM95dot9 using the hashtag #KayaOnline. 



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