Conscious parenting and how it’s defining children today
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Conscious parenting

Conscious parenting and how it’s defining children today

5 Jun 2019 FAMILY


By: Natasha Archary

 

Conscious parenting

In our previous post, on the effects your parenting style has on your child, we touched on conscious parenting gaining popularity with millennial parents. If this is a new term to you, conscious parenting is more a set of beliefs than a book of rules to follow. It’s said to be a new way of looking at parenting and makes you question the traditional methods of raising kids.

 

Traditional parenting

If we were to be honest as parents, most of us could relate to wanting to hit the CTRL, ALT, DELETE buttons and restart Day 1 on a clean slate. There are so many dated parenting practices that simply will not work today but which parents still resort to because it’s what they know.

 

Our own childhood experiences are projected into the way we bring up our own children. In an essay, “Recognising our hidden wounds,” psychoanalysts Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly hunt, touch on the importance of recognizing when and how we slip into our pasts as parents.

 

When we react temperamentally to our child’s less than favourable behavior, it’s an indication that it’s coming from an unresolved childhood wound. We can’t exactly blame our parents for doing things the way they did because unlike the new age, digital era, it was a far different time. What worked for them, almost always never works for us. Because the challenges faced are completely parallel.

 

Cues of the traditional parent
  • Main focus

Is on the child. With a primary focus on negative behavior and stressing about corrective measures.

 

  • Main tool

Discipline and punishment. Reinforcing the negative behavior.

 

  • Method

Control over the child.

 

  • Majority of the time

The child is seen as an object

 

  • Outcome

Strained relationship because of the on-going power struggles and lack of a deeper connection. The child will often rebel and depend on consequences. It’s an endless cycle.

 

  • Influenced by

Outdated parenting methods and beliefs. A troubled childhood and a lack of a relationship with your own parents.

Conscious parenting
A conscious parent in comparison

Conscious parenting is a decision parents make to check their emotions and remain as neutral as possible in situations that are tense with their child. Because the conscious parent emphasizes the importance of maintaining a strong emotional connection to their child at all times.

 

A household that practices conscious parenting is a zone where neither parent nor child is above blame. It’s about acknowledging when, as a parent, you are at fault and accepting responsibility for your actions.

 

Because the conscious parent is mindful that their children are not model molds to be shaped and sculpted into what or who we want them to be. Instead, we understand how truly important it is for our children to express themselves in a safe space and encourage them to develop their personalities to their full potential.

 

Cues of a conscious parent
  • Main focus

Is on the parent. On their mindset and state of calm.

 

  • Main tool

Open and honest communication with their child. Building a connection of deep emotional intelligence and intellectual substance.

 

  • Method

Introspection and self-awareness.

 

  • Majority of the time

Parent and child learn and teach each other how they need or want to be loved.

 

  • Outcome

A deeper bond. Parent and child are capable of identifying emotional triggers.

 

  • Influenced by

Science. Research. Communication with their child.

Conscious parenting
Being a parent today presents new challenges daily. No parent really knows how they’re doing until their child is able to communicate where as a parent you’re falling short. It’s one of the most difficult conversations to sit through and once you do, you will have to do some major introspection and self-reflection. Ask yourself what type of parent you want to be.

 

Do you want your child to be able to confide in you about everything and anything or are you going to be so far removed from what they go through? Conscious parents are present, regardless of whatever life throws their way or how little time they have. They make a conscious effort to understand their child’s feelings and take into consideration what is in their best interests. Emotional intelligence, mental health, and spirituality are at the core of a conscious parent’s structure. Then intellectuality.

 

Are you a conscious parent? What method of parenting best describes your parenting style? Share with us by tweeting @KayaFM95dot using the hashtag #KayaOnline.


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