Behind the filter of the “Instagram perfect” couple – #GetRealAboutLove
28 Feb 2019 LIFESTYLE
By: Natasha Archary
Picture perfect. That’s what you need to achieve to gain traction on Instagram. A jetsetter lifestyle, luxury cars, mansion, designer clothing (a new outfit for every post) and of course, a gorgeous better half. Is it attainable? At what cost? Who are these “picture perfect” Instagram couples?
With over 200 million active Instagram users, if you don’t #GoBig you are not going to be popular and gain followers. In a world chasing popularity, it seems not many people are focused on meaningful relationships anymore. Not when their worlds revolve around social media and being chained to their screens.
In an exclusive series on Kaya FM, Jo Lurie and many local celebrities shared the truth about their lives behind the filters of the social media app. The GramSham has been an eye-opening, yet stark realization that we’re evolving into deeply vain and dissatisfied individuals who do not appreciate what we have.
It’s easier for us to admire the couples who work out together. The duos who are unnaturally gorgeous and seem to have airbrushed abs. You want those poses near the Eiffel Tower and Sydney opera house at midnight too.
Wouldn’t it be nice if your boyfriend could whisk you away for a romantic tour of Europe for your anniversary? Your friend just got back from Bali, where her boyfriend proposed to her. Now you have to sit and listen to her go on about how perfect everything was and how special he made her feel.
It’s time your partner knew that this is the standard you deserve. How dare he not think you’re worth more than an Italian dinner and a movie night? Should you just spend the rest of your relationship posting pictures of the two of you in your suburb? What is this? Suburban bliss?
Behind the filter
Offline, your boyfriend is a doting, loyal and loving partner who is genuinely striving to build a life with you. He works hard, treats you well and you have a satisfying sex life. But it’s not enough. You want more. You want the glitz and the glam. The late nights in a new city every weekend. The long drives in a fancy car, with a picture of you holding his hand while he drives #CoupleGoals.
A 2017 survey of 1500 teens and adults, found Instagram to be the worst social media networking tool. Creating a culture of fear, anxiety and depression because of the insanity of “FOMO” (Fear Of Missing Out.)
The platform is just a tool for self-expression and one could argue that the app itself is not capable of forcing someone to do something they don’t want to. But if you’re spending time scrolling through pictures of the lifestyle you wish you were living, with the partner you wish you were with, how do you enjoy what is in your hands?
Both local and international celebrities set these standards we inevitably try to reach. DJ Zinhle and AKA’s low-key rekindled relationship had the country divided recently. As we all know he cheated on Zinhle with a certain “B” and feminists south of the equator were all in support of Zinhle moving on gracefully.
Fast forward a few years, and a couple of international vacays later and there’s Kairo’s parent’s posting cryptic Insta-stories about relaxing on a remote island. Had it not been for the same island in the background of both their posts, we would have been none the wiser. Instead of being happy for the duo, Twitter armies were in a frenzy over the standard Zinhle was setting for feminists.
Priyanka Chopra posted a picture of her husband Nick Jonas staring at her, while she posed on the red carpet at a premiere of her new movie, with the caption, “Find someone who looks at you like that.” It was enough to make us all gag. Firstly, the average person does not have a professional photographer following them to every event Priyanka. Who is supposed to catch this romanticized moment our partner stares at us when we’re not watching?
Secondly, some of us don’t have a full glam-team getting us red-carpet ready, designer gown and all Priyanka. For many of us, getting his eye contact during a conversation is a challenge in itself. But there you are, sharing this curated picture of your “perfect love-life” unknowingly causing the single girl to question her worth in her relationship. All because she doesn’t have a picture to share of her boyfriend staring at her without her knowledge.
The average Instagram couple will spend up to two hours perfecting each post. It’s not just about the picture. Location, lighting, angle, outfits, style, caption, filter, when to post, every minute detail could be the deciding factor with the success or failure of a post. Of course, it has to be in line with the algorithm that decides your popularity based on following, likes, hashtags and how many people would want to see your post in their searches or on their feed.
Basically, you’re allowing a digitally engineered piece of software, that consists of codes and binary digits to determine the love you have for your partner.
“As you sell your soul and sow your seeds, and wound yourself. Your loved ones bleed. Your habits grow and your conscience feeds, on all that you thought you should be.” Don McLean