Raising children with different dads
The topic on Home with Mapaseka rang true to me immediately. in the beginning I was a little scared to share my story, a little apprehensive. You see because I thought people would judge me. They would ask why I had a child before marriage , then another and another with different dads. To be honest I judge myself. But the reality is that I’m raising children with different dads. It is not easy let me tell you. The dad of my fist child was the man I thought I would end up with. Don’t we all I mean my first love, well some eight months after my child was born things fell apart, we had been together for some six years and now I was left to raise her alone.
So I moved on some years down the line, I fell for another man , well honestly after my fist heart break I really wasn’t looking for a husband before long , there was a baby. I was so angry with myself for having another baby I left him and even moved provinces never to see him again. Oh and he didn’t bother to come look for us and I was not going to look for him. After that I met another guy someone I had been friends with for years and we decided to have a relationship. This man then decided to make an honest woman of me; we got married and have two children together.
You see the challenge is when your partner becomes insecure when the baby daddy wants to see his child. Then you can’t have a decent conversation without “cheating”. I found that sometimes the dads wanted to prove they can outdo each other. That also affected my children. Look what my dad got me …..I’m going to tell my dad to get me this…, I had to sit them down to explain that for my kid’s sake there will be no showing off. Of course there was also the dad’s partners, some didn’t want see the kids; another was so pretentious it was actually sickening. The one thing though , my kids love each other They always want to be together, I guess what I was able to teach them and still are is they are my kids even though they have different dads. They know that I love them the same.
Although it was hard in the beginning everyone respected each other and the baby daddy’s had to learn to respect my husband who was essentially raising their kids. I also had to know where to draw the line with the babby daddys . My situation is not ideal, and I’m in no way glorifying it. It could be detrimental to a child’s life if you do not as a mother strike the correct balance…. But bottom line is that the every child needs their father whether you two are together or not….