Male role models lack in society
Written by: Mpho Raphata
I’m thinking of life in general and I suddenly become overwhelmed by how violent our society has become. It may sound cliché but it is what it is I guess. Think about it, the murder rate has gone up, five percent according to recently released crime stats. How do three women die daily at the hands of their partners? I ask myself where we are going wrong as a society. Is it in the way we raise our children? Look at what happened with Dolly Tshabalala who was killed allegedly by her boyfriend Dj Donald Sebolai, who many say was very abusive towards her. I mean I look at how talented Donald is and deduce that he may just be a troubled soul. I find myself wondering what kind of male role models he has/or looks up to, even now. Who are his male friends and what kind of conversations are they having about life, the women in their lives and how they want to raise their children.
I think about Dolly, how her child is now without a mom, how that child will grow up knowing that her mom was brutally killed by a man who was meant to love and protect her.
As a woman in her mid-thirties I look at my friends and the kind of trials we go through in our romantic relationships- how when you talk to the older generation, they basically tell you to stick it out. That you have invested a lot in the relationship and how you children will suffer if you walk away from an abusive relationship. I wonder what society’s tune is when that eventually leads to your death, when your children are orphaned and perhaps have to now deal with a father who is up for the murder of their mother.
I will watch Donald Sebolai’s case with keen interest and over its duration try to unpack the issues that it presents for Afropolitan?
- How do we rewrite societal expectations on the young boy and what kind of men they produce?
- How do we raise our girls to know that a person who loves you will never abuse you?
- How important is it for a father to be present in this little boy’s life, as well as how he is king in his little girl’s life?
- How does society have new conversations about our expectations on the roles of both men and women?
I hope that if anything these conversations will open our eyes to new ways of living and respecting the value of each other’s life.
Donald Sebolai appeared in court on the 25th of September.